Is this schizo ? Or what exactly would you describe my condition?

You really should consult a licensed professional so they could help you deal with what you are going through. But, in my opinion, just from what I have learned in my field of study so far, and personal experience, it doesn't sound like schizophrenia. Sounds more like maybe Bipolar disorder. But really, seek some help so you can feel better. And alcohol is only going to make your symptoms worse.